My Monitor and I

"excuse me, could you bring me down?" 

I have often heard that I have the weirdest on-stage preference when it comes to my monitors. I always prefer them softer than some singers and I never thought about it until today. 

I started singing in small bars in Penang, here and there with minimum experience and minimum knowledge of what I would need when I performed. All I knew was that I needed a mic, speakers and maybe a music stand for my file (yes, my lyrics were in a file, that you flip!) and hope that the wind is kind and the lighting doesn't reflect off the plastic protecting my lyrics. There were performances completely void of a monitor and I didn't know any better. 

There was once a whole contract, that had monitors, but a mixer that was not properly working. The monitors were there for show and were never turned on (no matter how sexy I spoke) and with this, I was trained to perform without monitors. So now when I am on stage and the monitors are turned on and working, it surprises me just a little. As if there was a wall in front of me and I singing right at it and my voice is being thrown right back to my face! 

I much prefer hearing the far away sound of my voice coming from the house speaker. Ever heard your voice played back to you and think "dang!!! That's what I sound like? I shouldn't talk anymore....", I often ask myself why anyone would like my voice. Then I shut up and get on with it because I love singing and I just hope people can tell that I do when I do. Do be do be do be doooooo...

But in all honestly, what this has taught me is how to work through tougher situations. How to perform with a faulty monitor, how to carry on with a show if a monitor cuts out. Learning how to trust my voice while performing and listening to what the audience can actually hear. 

Challenge yourself. Try the difficult way and see what happens. It's through the mistakes and hardship that we learn the best.